I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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