Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
