Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
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