I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
