My room smells like vodka and shame
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He passed out mid-signature
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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