I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED