He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
