Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Are we still banned from the library?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I am naked and annoyed.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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