I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
