I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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