I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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