He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just cropdusted the office
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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