508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
