All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There's always time for handjobs
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
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I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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