make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
even my farts smell like vagina
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My feet surprised me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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