I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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