She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
