I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
