she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
