All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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