I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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