Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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