So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
