so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
wow bdsm is so cute
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
