he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
