at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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