the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
