good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
