Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Green mimosas i think yes
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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