Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
