It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
