i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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