no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
