is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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