the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
