dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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