Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
