she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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