I just made out with a guy for $7.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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