Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
