Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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