A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
