If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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