But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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