At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
