He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
birth control should be required to get into college
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
