so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
