So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
