shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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