Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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