Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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