just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize