I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
