He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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