So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
