i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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